Why so little? Call Center Life

Often I am embarrassed to claim I work for a call center for the ff reasons;

1.People think I speak really good English - assume I have tons of money
2.People ask why - As if I sold my soul to the devil
3.Worse some elitist wannabes would respond with that look - u know the kind - As if their jobs help restore the Ozone layer - The better than thou look.

I often hear people say that being a call center agent is 'nakakabobo', well believe you me, having taken part in recruiting for my used to be Big Co, I may just have seen it all - So why have been people from all walks of life weather this endeavor?

-Provincial - Travelling from the not too far Laguna's and Bulacan's to the are you kidding me Pangasinan's and headed off home the same day.
-The Experienced - Twang dipped so called tenured agents from other Call Centers
-The Richly Educated - Doctors, Lawyers from different schools and backgrounds.
-Quinquagenarians - Those who remind us of our parents that you feel sorry for when you know you have to give out you 'We will call you + Don't call us' spiel.
-Fresh off the kitchen - Wide eyed innocence, flawed grammar.
-Couples - Romantic, Buddies - Referrals
-Groups - Graduates of the misunderstood call center training courses.
-Come back Divas - Those whom sought for Greener Pastures only to find themselves caught in a marketing haze.

It's all about the money - save those precious Freshies off the Kitchen' I'm really here for the experience, Be part of the boom!'
And with the dire need for manpower - Almost every Company is willing to hire just about anyone with a pulse - So we find either them lost in this sea of Metrics and Culture and Schedule - or us in confusion - We're being outnumbered by the fad.
And for those who can't take the heat - You find - multiple reasons for their attrition and only 1 reason from the company - Non Performance.


Embittered they leave, and not without a fight of words, swords and serious legal disputes. Swearing among all their friends how pathetic, easy or some minorly thought of reason for leaving - it was and how it is 'nakakabobo'

The only way to succeed is to get better at it. I have seen reps remain idle for 5 years whereas, some would rise up to team handling posts in a matter of months after getting hired.

I know of this friend whom I dearly love, for 5 years hadn't a movement, and this other one who in a span of 10 months got promoted 3 times, the last being an appointment for handling her own team.

The difference? Paris (Idle Beauty) didn't aspire to be better -perhaps content with her position and disposition while
Nicole (Sandara Park-like Career) had gazillions of books about self improvement and even asked for my assistance before her TL assessment..

More evident than in any industry - Performance speaks loudest here, knowing the right people maybe, but tell me an industry where a little bit a pseudo Nepotism did not exist? Not that I support it - it would be fallacious to claim it is not happening.

So why so little?

I remember an episode of Friends - the one with stripper I think - Joeys the best man and he lost Ross' ring and immediately putting the blame on the stripper - During confrontation stripper says something like 'I make 1800/week, do any of you earn that?' Turns out Joey's goose had a taste for the fancy and shiny.

We don't go chasing after a stripper career after finding that out - But as the economy continues to betray our wild hopes of success - We just might think about it, Maybe.

I'm not saying we are the new whores of this town, but just clearing one point.
We did not steal your diamond rings, so don't gimme that look.

Habba Happy Holiday!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! - Not that it means anything to us Pinoys other than the joy of Rest..Day that is - Long weekend Woohoo!

With the Holidays knocking on our doors and into our rapport building with customers it doesn't hurt to at the very least be politically correct - That way our purpose of rapport yields maximum and we don't offend anyone.

Q4 sees a lot of holidays coming - Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah etc.

So when wishing our customers well as a good way of ending the call - it gets tiring trying to think of which holiday we want them to be happy on.

Besides greeting a Jew Happy Christmas might mean the same way as you would with an Iglesia ni Cristo Devotee. Or Happy Hanukkah to Christians just because you want to be creative.

Have a Happy Holiday vs Happy Holidays?
I remember talking to a customer and saying Hava Hava..Happy Holidays!
Come to think of it they both mean the same thing - Why stress my mouth and the receivers ears?

I'm just saying Holidays are great - better when we get to spread Cheer! And only when you mean it, otherwise people can tell if its Kosher!

And the Weiner is

Sales for me is the most fun Business Unit.
Spiffs, Commissions, Really loud, big personalities.
Who here doesn't get a bit of a natural high every time your sale gets announced?

Towards the end of the Shift, the winners for the days Spiffs are either awarded with GC's or Cash.

One friend got the spiff and so it was announced
'And the speef weiners for the day are?' Mind you who shouted, of course most of the time TL's have this task.

I whispered to her as she went on her way to get the prize - Go Weiner!

We have to give the TL something, at least he was consistent - Speef - Weiner

What a way to motivate people - By calling them weiners! hehe

Bravo - Here's your standing O - Just don't get too excited or other Weiners might stand up - PUNNY hehehe.

Moo Confessions

A friend of mine steps out of the cab and to her oblivion her 20 Php bill drops on the road - this is in Libis by the way - To her suprise a good samaritan calls her attention and says 'Miss, Miss your MANIPOL'
Startled she walked away thinking what just happened.

Its not that her MAN Nipples were showing - for sure he wasn't that metrosexual to invent a new description for what would look like a man's areola. Plus she was wearing a plain old black polo shirt so no Janet accidents would be possible.

She was in libis and that guy was definitely from the Call Center in the next building and then AHA!

He wasn't shaming her - He was simply being nice.

And what would have started to be a beautiful relationship (he was kinda cute btw) ended up in true loves demise - Moo!

You know?

I get it - Its for buying some more time - Because the influx of our thoughts and ideas is just too much for our mouths to endure or not.

Fillers

You get them on records of even the most prolific of songwriters, either because of indulgence or laziness or time pressure - you pick your most believable alibi.

For us call center peeps - This might be one of our most evident Moo's (BTW I've taken the liberty of calling it that as it is cuter and Boo Boo's are just plain redundant - 1 Boo is enough hehe) Even our QA friends will agree.

These useless terms serve only one purpose - and that's to show everyone how inadequate we are - or to put it nicely - unprepared. So saying 'like' as in the movies or how some celebrities would overuse it is not only uncool, its also annoying.

Pick a favorite - you know, actually, basically, right, so and the least ashamed of them all - the good ole 'ahm'

Listen to yourself and try to write the sentence you would say.

Take out the filler and read it, does it change its definition?

So really, believe it when they say 'Less is more'

I say its divine.

EOP - English only Please

EOP - English only Policy

We find this phrase ever ubiquitous in almost every corner of our workplace, constantly reminding and sometimes threatening in most ways.
That way either we

1. Practice Professionalism within the workplace
2. Improve on our Comm Skills
3. Make our customers believe we are not in the Philippines - Some Companies actually have to lie with regard to its Location - i.e. Our Headquarters is based in AZ.

I get that - I enforce it to a fault.

You know how it is, If you're not rich and you speak English all the time people tend to think you're trying too hard, ,or MAARTE at the minimum. But what weirds me out is this - Speaking English in Restrooms is a bit surprising , Speaking English in the Elevator - commendable. Speaking English in the sidewalk where you make tusok-tusok the fishballs? Are you kidding me?
Displaying one's set of skills is admirable.
But conspicuously over enunciating words only gets us the same kind of reaction all the time (Ah taga call center yan!)
All in the right place
I find most Reps speak Filipino in the office but once stepped out of the company premises and voila! 'Like you know my friend?!, like we saw the new twilight movie and like, it was so amazing!!
Which begs the questions why do people think its a dead end job? That its only for those who've no ambition? Worse that only morons work in a call center?
Although I have been guilty of the same I remember hailing a cab as I got in I said 'Manong, Ever' .and he kept asking me till I figured 'Eber po'

Believe me in some Call Centers - people are actually shocked if they hear you speak English during normal conversations - As if the only time you can speak English is during calls.

I'm not ashamed to speak English with my friends because that's how we usually do it and I will never feel the need to explain, regardless of what other people think.

But if I'm in a public place where Filipino is most applicable then I never hesitate speaking my Native Language, which I love dearly.

You speak the Language most appropriate - unless attention is really what you crave for.

I will gonna Keel you!

Not really that scary, ain't it?

However much our Tone means it - If we don't say it the right way - We risk 3 things

1 Be Misunderstood
2 Be Ridiculed
3 Be __________ insert scenario here


Admit it - Our society revolves around the idea that if you speak good English you are either a) rich b) smart
Two things if you speak Cow English a) TH - Trying hard b) Dumb
I am not encouraging this fallacy - Just helping correct what can be improved.


I will gonna keel you


Will means going to - therefore I will going to - You tell me if its not funny

Say it the wrong way and you're digging your own Social Grave
Say it the right way and possibly a restraining order

Its not right to threaten anybody, neither is saying it the wrong way!

Did you saw that? Did you saw that?!!

I hear this a lot - and by prevalence you'd be shocked
I guess its been a problem for me too

But what is wrong in this sentence? Logically, spoken language shouldn't have so many rules

Did is the past tense of DO
Saw is the past tense of SEE

Marry them together and you get divorced quicker than the bone thugs can rap or perhaps britney's actual Marriage - at least her 1st

I'd usually back up my argument by bursting into song - U say thats funny?
I say its practical

Take for example MAE's song 'We're so Far Away' (Citation based on my bias - MAE Rocks!)
From Toledo, to Tokyo,
the words were scribed on every page,
and now there’s books up on our shelves.
Did you know how you would move us, did you know?
When the lights first came upon us,
and we saw The Everglow.

If it doesn't sound right musically or verbally - Consider Revising
And every time you hear yourself say this think somewhere out there
someone's either singing or playing Britney's 'Oops I did it again'

And yeah did you bought that is also incorrect!

Steeker - S T I C K E R

During one of my Remote Service Observes I encountered a situation with one of my agents - Customer was having a hard time trying to understand what she was saying - Frustrated with the repetitive questioning Agent says " Its not a speaker ma'm - Steeker - You know S.T.I.C.K.E.R.! and then customer said oh sticker - And both sighed in relief - Agent mutes the call and turns to her seatmate - "Ang bobo ng customer ko sbi ko Steeker, sabi nya Speaker!" And then to my surprise she replied "Meron din ako ganyan customer!"

Long E's

Admit it, much as I love it, We have a Lazy Language - Maybe its the culture as defended by our everdearest hero on "The indolence of the Filipino People". Read it if you must I will not go into detail.

Compared to our counterpart - The English Language requires certain effort otherwise you defer the meaning or specifically on the phones - more than our grammar everything is mostly played by ear - Just like for the blind - One moved furniture and they're dead - In our case one mispronunciation and we're on our way to ambiguity.

Bottomline - it becomes a question of who serves whom. Maybe if we start manufacturing our Cars and start to pay our National Debts one by one we can lax in our craft and have americans adjust for once.

But that isn't really the case, is it?

Outslang

During my stint as a recruiter for this Multi National BPO - I would ask the applicants what they think they have and lack in terms of communication skills and first thing that almost always comes out would be - Slang - I'm not as Slang - or if they're trying to impress they might say - I don't have an American Twang!

I always tell them its never your Slang that gets you hired - its an unfortunate benefit in dealing with Americans all day - For one thing Slang can get you a Markdown on really stringent programs that require you only to be as professional as can be

We were most ideal compared to all our other Asian Country friends because of our Neutral Accent - Notice how newscasters do it - They read as a newspaper - No non sense

We do no want to alienate our Southern customers with our broad knowledge of verbiage of black americans that we might make Eminem blush.


I can mean two things here
1. Slang - A kind of language occurring chiefly in casual and playful speech, made up typically of short-lived coinages and figures of speech that are deliberately used in place of standard terms for added raciness, humor, irreverence, or other effect.
2. Slang - Typically identified by most Pinoys as Twang


Take for Example for number 2

ACHELIE - I got this from one of the most amazing Leadership Trainers Ms.V

No its not the famous french film by Audrey Tautou
It used to be the most overused word in the UK - It means - in reality
But we've paled the meaning liked a much unneeded apology from a person we dont really care about - or perhaps pepper on your burger

Drum Roll - Its Actually

There is no need to americanize your words on the hopes that you build rapport - unless you know you can pull it off - by all means proceed - but If you're not too sure - Reconsider before the cow in the meadow goes MOO!

--D

Outword - Outslang - Outenunciate

If these were the rules for survivor we'd definitely see most of our Call Center Reps or even Supervisors win the challenges

Outword - This is mostly a manner of making the listener think our diction is smarter than the simple stone words in our vocab bag - You know the kind -

I specifically remember a friends episode wherein Joey learned the thesaurus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9s0LqZMsfTQ

We forget that the only other reason for communication is to transfer ones thought to another - If we translate our words into something simpler - less sophisticated - thus better understood then your goal is simply met. Think about it the most effective speakers never required overly worded speeches - Take for example - Politicians - The simpler the better - You do not want to cloud out your main thought with words that simply haze on your audience - You tell them what they want to hear! - Healthcare! or perhaps something else less controversial or easier to commit to


Unless you prefer meatballs with your spaghetti - Always KISS - Keep it short and simple - and never TELL - Thesaurus every Little Litter

--Milks and Cheeses

Cow English!

I am going to start this blog on the hope that it will bring light on what is truly happening - 3rd largest English speaking country - ha - and we even poke fun at other Nationalities for their Stronger than thou accents - but what lurks under those tongues of our might even spell venomous than no accent can poison.
Note: This is not meant to demean anyone but more so to reveal what really is going on - The examples I will share are based on my own true experiences - names will not be mentioned for their shame and my security. haha